Today is my birthday. I spent the day at home, recovering from the d&c. But tonight, I am going to go to dinner with my husband, and I will be thankful for the parts of my life that are wonderful.
From the beginning of this experience, I have feared depression. I have never suffered from depression myself, but I know many who have. And of those who have suffered, I've seen many spiral into a darkness so all-encompassing that they can barely claw their way out of the pit. I have feared this overwhelming cloud and have done everything I can to avoid it. On most days, I'm successful.
Yesterday, I wasn't so successful. Today has been a bit better. My goal for tomorrow is simple: remember. Remember the wonderful people who consistently demonstrate concern and interest in my life. Remember my husband who passionately follows his heart, searching for his God, for truth, for hope. Remember my sons, who did more than just exist: they lived. Remember my God who, in the same way I love my sons who I never even saw and who did nothing to "earn" my love and pride, loves me. I will remember...
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